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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Summer Bucket List

Some of these are also great for the young in heart adults...
Summer Bucket List

Giant Homemade Rideable Electric TIE Fighter

by Justin Page, LaughingSquid.com
Hubbards, Nova Scotia creative builder Allan Carver built a giant remote controlled electric Star Wars TIE fighter from scratch that people can ride around in.
Hubbards, Nova Scotia creative builder Allan Carver built a giant remote controlled electric Star Wars TIE fighter from scratch that people can ride around in.
Hubbards, Nova Scotia creative builder Allan Carver built a giant remote controlled electric Star Wars TIE fighter from scratch that people can ride around in.

Two kinds of foam were used. L200 for the body and rigid 2″ thick insulation foam for the wings.

The motor controller was a Sabertooth dual-motor driver and worked perfectly with the RC controller. FYI, use the aileron and elevator pins.

I used a 70s Kenner toy for the wings and control pod scale, but I adjusted the width so it will fit through a set of double doors. For the back of the tie fighter, I used the toy shown in this video. It was much cleaner than the original Kenner tie fighter.

After measuring tie fighter and pilot height from the movies, it’s roughly one third the scale of a real tie fighter as depicted in the movies.

Remember...

You are the fairy tale told by your ancestors

100 Gay Things To Do Before You Die

by Dustin Diehl, Out.com

Go on a gay cruise
Go on a gay cruise
Go on a gay cruise
Click above to see all 100!

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Former first lady Barbara Bush dies at 92

from CNN.com
Former first lady Barbara Bush dies at 92
NEW YORK — Former first lady Barbara Bush has died “peacefully in her sleep”, a spokesman for the Bush family said she died on Sunday evening.

92-year old Bush died hours after announcing that she will not seek additional medical care.

She made headlines in the past 24 hours that she was in failing health and would not seek additional medical care after a series of recent hospitalizations.

Bush was the wife of former President George H.W. Bush, the 41st president of the United States who is now 93, and mother of 43rd President George W. Bush. She was only the second first lady in American history whose her son also ascend to the nation’s highest office, the other being Abigail Adams, wife of John Adams and mother of John Quincy Adams.

Both Barbara Bush and her husband have confronted numerous medical difficulties in recent years. In Jan. 2017, they were both hospitalized for separate health issues and were unable to attend President Trump’s inauguration.

“Barbara and I are so sorry we can’t be there for your inauguration on January 20th. My doctor says if I sit outside in January, it likely will put me six feet under. Same for Barbara. So I guess we’re stuck in Texas,” the former president wrote in a letter to Mr. Trump at the time. “But we will be with you and the country in spirit.”

WOW!!!! WARNING (18+)

Warning 18 and over

The biggest cock I've ever seen! Click here.

The Creation of Alfred

The creation of Alfred E. Newman
...bound to get criticism...

A Guy Walks into a Bar and more!

A GUY WALKED INTO A CROWDED BAR AND YELLED, "I HAVE A 45 CALIBER PISTOL WITH AN 8 SHOT CLIP AND I WANT TO KNOW WHOSE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE?"

AFTER A SHORT PAUSE, SOMEONE FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM YELLED BACK, "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH AMMO!"
HYUK!


A Cuckold's Dillema
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight.
While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act.
For $100, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man!
The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money'.
HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
HE paid for your new 20 ft Ranger Fishing Boat .
HE paid for your Packer season tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.
HE paid for our country club membership, and
HE even pays the monthly dues!'
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do'?
The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'
HYUK!


NUDE BEACH
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach...
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother:
'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets!'
HYUK!


DIVORCE vs. MURDER
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide.
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide. Just get a divorce!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
HYUK!


Anniversary Present
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?"
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said: Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those titties and screw your brains out."
She giggled and said, "That's exactly what you said. So now its fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"
He looked her up and down and said, “Mission accomplished."
He never heard the shot.
HYUK!


Wife's Financial Investments
The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon: “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The tycoon replies: “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first."
The lawyer says: “Well your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she figures are worth $20 to $30 million.”
The tycoon replies enthusiastically: “Well done…very good news indeed! You’ve just made my day; what’s the bad news?"
The lawyer answers: “The pictures are of you with your secretary."
HYUK!


A Clever Tale
There were two clever nuns
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes?
I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to have sex with us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

A little while later...

SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's!
HYUK!


More Lexophilia
1.The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos s itting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
HYUK!


CONFESSION
I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then the priest comes in. I say to him, "Father, forgive me, For it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."

He replies: " You moron, you're on my side.”
HYUK!


STUTTERING
A teacher's story about stuttering...

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl.

'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'Fuck-off !,' the Rottweiler ate her!'

The teacher had to leave the room.

Husband and Wife

Creeps Me Out!

Creepy Burger King

12 Step Program for Internet Addiction

1.  I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper  like I used to, before the Internet.
2.  I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand  typing.
3.  I will get dressed before noon.
4.  I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Internet.
5.  I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Internet-deprived.
6.  I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Internet.
7.  I will read a book...if I still remember how.
8.  I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling  them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Internet.
9.  I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.
10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.
11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Internet.
12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime ...
and the Internet will always be there tomorrow!

Monday, April 16, 2018

'Night Court' Star Harry Anderson Dead at 65

from TMZ.com
 'Night Court' Star Harry Anderson Dead at 65
Harry Anderson, who became a household name starring in the massive TV hit, "Night Court," has died.

We spoke to Harry's son, Dashiell, and he tells TMZ ... his father passed away of natural causes. Anderson rose to fame playing Judge Harry T. Stone on the sitcom that ran from 1984 to 1992. Before "Night Court" he frequently appeared on "Saturday Night Live."

The actor died at his home Monday in North Carolina. All authorities are saying is that no foul play is suspected.

Anderson also appeared on "Cheers" and starred in his own sitcom, "Dave's World," which ran from 1993 to 1997.

He was also an accomplished magician and even opened a magic shop in the French Quarter of New Orleans. He also had a nightclub in the French Quarter called Oswald's Speakeasy.

In his later years, Anderson kept a low profile, only occasionally appearing in shows like "30 Rock," "Son of the Beach" and "Comedy Bang! Bang!"

He's survived by 2 children and his wife, Elizabeth Morgan.

Anderson was 65.

RIP.

Skeleton for Lexophiles

skeleton

Best Magic Vines Compilation

Water Boy

by CubeBreaker
Taken just at the right time

Smoking in the rain

2 old ladies

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

The pharmacist fainted.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

From The Emerald City


Hello 'OZ'ians!

This time I am asking how 'OZ' looks to you when you load it. Does it all fit in the browser window or do you have to scroll left and right? Let me know in the comments below.

Yours,

The Wizard

New Retro Phone from Apple!

New Retro Phone from Apple!

What will matter...

What will matter...
What will matter...
What will matter...
What will matter...
What will matter...
What will matter...

A Train That Doesn't Stop!

A train that never makes any stops, but loads and unloads in a unique way. The voice is Mandarin but the video is self explanatory.

— No time is wasted. The bullet train is moving all the time. If there are 30 stations between Beijing and Guangzhou , just stopping and accelerating again at each station will waste both energy and time.

A mere 5 min stop per station (elderly passengers cannot be hurried) will result in a total loss of 5 min x 30 stations or 2.5 hours of train journey time!

Click here to be redirected to YouTube.

How to wash strawberries

StrawberryThis video teaches the proper method of cleaning strawberries.


Saturday, April 14, 2018

For a reason...

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Sisters
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end..

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done..

Lovers

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Gay Couple

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Gopher Hunting In Saskatchewan

AT LAST!! HERE IS A REAL GAME FOR US PRAIRIE BOYS AND GIRLS !!
SOME PEOPLE WILL THINK ITS A TIME WASTER........

GOPHER HUNTING A TIME WASTER???? I think not!

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SCORE 60 OR BETTER.

best efffects occur if speakers are turned on - Get ready for spring ....And consider this as coordination therapy for your job related mouse hand dexterity

Gopher Hunting Game - Click here
Click above to play!

Lord... They are finally together!

Judy got married and had 13 children. Her first husband,Ted, died of cancer.

She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.

Judy again remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."

Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret,

Old Ladies

"Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?"


Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel . . . her legs"

Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're Not.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy ass but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath, I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' 'because you are my friend'.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth.