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Friday, July 21, 2017

They've got rythym....

They've got rythym....

Click Above.

Some Fun Signs

Twelve Reasons to Smile

Duck Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.



Duck Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.




Duck I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.



Duck How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?




Duck A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"



Duck I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!




Duck When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."




Duck Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.




Duck Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!




Duck Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?



Duck Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.




Duck Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Reflections

Reflections

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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Biarn Tstiwres

Spark up the ol' gray matter!

Puzzle #1

Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: factory lunchroom

2) Two words: a. a container
b. a young person

Answer


Canteen


Puzzle #2

Meg's local train station is one mile away from her house. It takes her 10 minutes to bike there. Today, Meg got a flat tire 12 minutes before the train is scheduled to arrive. Her maximum walking speed is 4 miles per hour.

Can she make the train on foot?

ANSWER:

Meg can't make the train....it will take her 15 minutes to walk to station


Puzzle #3

Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: funny situations

2) Two words: a. arrive
b. expires


Answer:



comedies

come dies


Puzzle #4

ODD MAN OUT

Which of the scrambled words below is least like the others? (The difference has nothing to do with vowels, consonants or syllables).

NDLASI NMUOTANI TCIY LFFCI


Answer:


CITY


Puzzle #5

METAMORPHOSIS

1) Add an "R" to a word that means "wearing a particular piece of clothing" to find a word that means "criticized about details."

2) Add an "R" to the word for a measure to find a word for a design on paper or fabric.

ANSWER:


1) caped, carped

2) pint, print


Puzzle #6

What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same seven letters, can be used to complete the sentence below?

The would-be man-about-town spent an inordinate amount of time cultivating society friends so that he could __________________
around to as many __________________ as he liked.

Answer:


Traipse
parties


Puzzle #7

Which three numbers give the same result when they are added together as when they are multiplied?


Answer:



1,2,3

1+2+3=6
1 X 2 X 3=6


Puzzle # 8
Find the four-digit number in which the second digit is double the first and the third and fourth digits are the square of the second. The sum of all the digits is 13.

ANSWER:



2416

"Kettle Math"

Comments made in 1957 (60 years ago)

I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.

Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one.


If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.


Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?


If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.


When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.


Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.


I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying, "damn" in "Gone With The Wind," it seems every new movie has either hell or damn in it.


I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.


Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president.


I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.


It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.


It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.


Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.


I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.


Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Parliament.


The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.


There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel.


No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood.


If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.

Amazing Percentages Of Territorial Facts....

Alaska: More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska.

> Amazon: The Amazon rainforest produces more than 20 percent of the world's oxygen supply. The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that more than one hundred miles at sea, off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon River is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States.

Antarctica: Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country. 90% of the world's ice covers Antarctica. This ice also represents 70% of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it sounds, Antarctica is essentially a desert.

The average yearly precipitation is about two inches. Although covered with ice (all but 04 percent of it), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet, with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.

Brazil: Brazil got its name from the nut, not the other way around.

Canada: Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Aborigional word meaning "Big Village."

Chicago: Next to Warsaw, Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.

Detroit: Woodward Ave. in Detroit, Michigan, carries the designation M 1, because it was the first paved road anywhere.

Damascus: Damascus, Syria, was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was founded in 753 BC, making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in existence.

Istanbul: Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on two continents.

New York City: The term "The Big Apple" was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930's who used the slang expression "apple" for any town or city. Therefore, to play New York City is to play the big time ~ The Big Apple. There are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin, Ireland, more Italians in New York City than in Rome, and more Jews in New York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel.

Wilderness: Percentage of Africa that is wilderness 28%. Percentage of North America that is wilderness 38%.

Ohio: There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio, every one is manmade.

Rome: The first city to reach a population of 1 million people was Rome, Italy in 133 B.C. There is a city called Rome on every continent.

Siberia: Siberia contains more than 25 percent of the world's forests.

Sovereign Military Order of Malta: The smallest sovereign entity in the world is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (SMOM). It is located in the city of Rome, Italy, has an area of two tennis courts, and as of 2001 has a population of 80, 20 less people than the Vatican. It is a sovereign entity under international law, as is the Vatican.

Sahara Desert: In the Sahara Desert, there is a town named Tidikelt, which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years.

St. Paul: St. Paul, Minnesota was originally called Pigs Eye after a man named Pierre "Pig's Eye" Parrant who set up the first business there (bootlegging).

Roads: Chances that a road is unpaved in the USA ~ 1 percent. Chances that a road is unpaved in Canada ~ 75 percent.

United States: The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are meant to be usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

WindowsXPee

Believe it or not... some businesses are still using Windows XP!
WindowsXPee

Click above

Don't give up too early! Explore the icons, programs, and more!

You're Invited!

You are invited!

This is a PowerPoint presentation. Click above

Why, Why, Why


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I Believe

Believe
I believe- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe- that you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I believe- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I believe- that when we look for the good in others, we discover the best in ourselves.

Monday, July 17, 2017

George A. Romero Dead at 77

George A. Romero Dead at 77
RIP Mr. Romero

Purple Haze

Purple haze all in my brain
Lately things just don’t seem the same
Actin’ funny, but I don’t know why
’scuse me while I kiss the sky
Purple haze all around
Don’t know if I’m comin’ up or down
Am I happy or in misery?
What ever it is, that girl put a spell on me
Help me
Help me
Oh, no, no

Purple Haze

I Mean, even with purple as my favourite colour? Izzat U-G-L-Y? Or izzit jes me?

Heart Attack!

You are invited!

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Sunday, July 16, 2017

The power of Make-up

The power of Make-up

You Kicked My Dog

WARNING!!
DO NOT OPEN AT WORK! "F" WORD and MORE USED!


You Kicked My DOG!
As far as I know this is an actual phone recording...
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'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow - through the years

These screenshots are courtesy of The Wayback Machine - Internet archive....
'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow 2013
2012

'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow 2014
2013

2014
2015
'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow 2016
2016
'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow 2017
2017
What do you think of 'OZ' over the years? Make a comment!